A gentle rain is falling out here in the country. The robins are fussing over nothing, while the cardinals sing to each other from dawn till dusk. Occasionally, I hear gunfire in the distance, but I haven’t given it much thought. If it weren’t for the list of Coronavirus symptoms pinned neatly to the bulletin board, one would have no idea anything is amiss. Twitter, my view into Hell, and the line at the grocery store suggest otherwise, but I have no interest in delving into That.
Though I admit the current crisis has me thinking of earlier times. January 23, 2020, to be exact, when we learned scientists had moved the Doomsday Clock to just 100 seconds before midnight. Midnight, of course, represents the symbolic destruction of the world at the bloodstained hands of mankind. And what, you ask, brought us ever closer to the End? Scientists cited old favourites, like nuclear war and climate change, as well as new terrors, like “cyber intrusions” and “fake news.”
I suppose we could all do without “cyber intrusions” and “fake news.” Articles like these, where a bunch of scientists-cum-prophets spin the Doomsday Wheel until it lands on something topical, would hardly be missed. The only “fake news” that brings us closer to Doomsday are articles like these. And, mercifully, that Doomsday is only a symbolic one.
Far be it from me to advocate for the Coronavirus, but surely the first pandemic in a hundred years is a good reason to bump the Clock a few seconds ahead? I can see not wanting to mention the Coronavirus by name. That’s free advertising. A quick “shoutout” to disease in general would have sufficed. Yet, this crack group of scientists had nothing to say about it. Less than two months after the clock edged closer to midnight, the Coronavirus was declared a pandemic and the rest, they say, is misery. How did our esteemed scientists miss that?
Perhaps these scientists wanted to warn us, but were thwarted by a sentient Doomsday Clock. Maybe the Clock has grown tired of being an artifice of scientism. Now, it distracts us with the haunting spectres of nuclear war and fake news, all while hiding the danger of the Coronavirus from us. What we are now experiencing may well be the Doomsday Clock’s revenge.
CNN asks, “What can we do to set the Clock back?” That’s a question only the Clock can answer.
Utilitarianism is back, at least in the pages of the New York Times. After what remains of Joe Biden was accused of sexual assault by a former staffer, the Democrats have been left pondering what, if anything, they ought to do about it.
Linda Hirshman claims to have found a balance, writing, “I believe Ms. Reade [Biden’s accuser], and I’ll vote for Mr. Biden this fall.” Hirshman offers the following explanation:
“Compared with the good Mr. Biden can do, the cost of dismissing Tara Reade — and, worse, weakening the voices of future survivors — is worth it. And don’t call me an amoral realist. Utilitarianism is not a moral abdication; it is a moral stance.”
Well, amoral realism is a moral stance, too, but leaving that aside, how can a feminist back one sex pest over another? Professional wrestling has the answer!
Wrestlers can generally be divided into two categories: babyfaces and heels. Put simply, the babyfaces are the “good guys” and the heels are the “bad guys.” When done right, there is no ambiguity, and the crowd reacts accordingly. After the heel runs wild, beating people up, saying outrageous things, and evading any kind of justice, the crowd demands the babyface get revenge on the heel.
When babyfaces misbehave, it is for the greater good. The heel must be defeated. That’s how we wind up with Utilitarianism rearing its ugly head once more. The greatest good is for the babyface, however flawed they may be, to defeat the heel and get revenge for themselves and the fans. To immerse ourselves in this world, must put aside our own morality and live by the rules of the ring.
With the November election looming large, the Democrats have created the perfect wrestling angle. They have positioned Biden as the babyface who can do no wrong. As Goethe said of Napoleon, Biden operates outside morality. When Biden commits an otherwise evil act, like sexually assaulting someone, it doesn’t matter. It’s for the greater good that we ignore such crimes.
We are called, instead, to focus our hatred on Donald Trump, the consummate heel, who doesn’t need much help being the bad guy. The Democrats, though, are happy to pour on the conspiracy theories about Russia et al. anyway. He can always be worse.
The Democrats must maintain what’s known in the wrestling world as “kayfabe.” Kayfabe is “[t]he code of secrecy that undergirds the pro wrestling industry by which the secret of its unreality is protected.” For professional wrestling to work, kayfabe must be maintained. The Democrats’ job through November is to maintain the unreality of one Joseph Robinette Biden Jr.
Look at poor Elizabeth Warren: mere months ago she received widespread acclaim for savaging Michael Bloomberg on the issue of sexual harassment. Now, she says Biden’s denial was both “credible” and “convincing.” What makes Ms. Reade less credible than Bloomberg’s accusers? Warren doesn’t say. Only professional wrestling can account for such wild swings in morality.
Yes, Warren is a craven opportunist desperately angling to be Biden’s Vice President, but she’s also a proper wrestling fan. Now that Biden is the presumptive nominee, and thus the Democrats’ top babyface. She knows she must maintain kayfabe, even if she debases herself in the process.
All of this has riled up the Democrats into such a frenzy that Hirshman’s Utilitarian calculus and Warren’s opportunism seem rather tame. Outside the pages of the Times, one person says they’d still support Biden if he raped their child. A cursory Twitter search reveals similar sentiments.
What does the average Democratic voter get out of a Biden victory? The world their party has created for them. They get the satisfaction of watching the babyface crawl out of the political wilderness and get his revenge on the heel. All the pent up anger and frustration that’s built up over four awful years of Trump culminates in him being booted from office.
The Democrats better pray this satisfaction carries them through Biden’s time in office. The fans often turn on babyfaces who fail to deliver anything but their own self-gratification.
One might accuse me of naiveté and argue I’ve merely stumbled upon politics. Maybe none of this is, strictly speaking, “new,” but it does explain how 2020 became the Battle of The Sex Pests. Perhaps they can lower a steel cage around the White House.